For the revision process on essay three I encountered multiple problems. The main places I really needed to focus revising on were my thesis, body paragraphs, and as well as my conclusion. My thesis was very unclear, as my peers agreed. We agreed that I needed to really work on it and make it stand out. After I figured out how to make my thesis more clear I realized that I had failed to connect to it throughout my entire essay. So I really needed to focus on connecting my points with my thesis. This is important because it would not only make my points stronger but also to make it so the reader would not forget what my thesis was. On the other hand my body paragraphs needed some help connecting with one another. I felt like the transitions were not really all that there. In order for this paper to flow properly that needed to be fixed. Lastly for my conclusion I felt like this paragraph was lacking, it didn’t have much there. I really needed to expand on what I had stated in all of my points above in order for it to tie all together. I just needed to focus on summing it all up and restating my thesis. I think acknowledging all of these errors allowed me to focus on making this final draft the best version of this essay.