Learning Outcome 4: Be able to critique own and other’s work by emphasizing global revision early in the writing process and local revision later in the process.

One thing I was never good at was revising the work of others. This is something that I struggled with because I always say the work as good and could never find errors. After really taking a look at the peers work I was editing, I actually began to notice things that could use some work. For example in Gunnar’s essay, I mainly focused on local revision, as it is the most important. The first thing I noticed was that there was no thesis. I added a comment saying “Thesis? I wasn’t quite sure where to look for it as it wasn’t clear or you may not even have one yet. But when you do add it/make it clear don’t forget to back it up within the essay so that your argument remains clear and so the reader doesn’t forget”. I think that being able to identify this is important and letting my peer know that was missing was crucial to his essay. With that, I was also able to suggest adding quotes in places where claims were being made. Adding these quotes would provide evidence for the claim overall supporting it. This is an important thing to recognize for it shows my progress in being able to revise effectively. Along with adding the voice of others, it is also important to add your own voice and opinion. I also found that some paragraphs were lacking transitions. Adding certain transitions that would relate well to what was mentioned in the previous paragraph. A solid transition allows for a smoother flow through out the entire essay. After reviewing this a little more I believe that I could have added more comments about adding substance. I think some of Gunnar’s ideas were good but needed to be elaborated on in order to tie it all together. I also think that he elaborated too much on some ideas, such as the Julia Child portion of the essay. Words and phrases could have been taken out to get to the deeper meaning quicker. Those extra words acted almost as an unnecessary “fill in” to make it longer. These are things I never would have considered or commented on previous to this class. The revision comments I made on peers work show my growth as well as understanding of how to properly revise. Although there were more things I could’ve commented on or questioned I still believe there is a sustainable difference in my ability to revise.

Example of peer review used: Peer Review Comments: Gunnar Fryzlewicz